drowning in a cup of water

You know those balls that stuck to Mr.Incredible in the first incredibles movie? how they inflated once they landed and eventually they slowly just completly overtook him. I feel like that sometimes, like this dark blanket of hopelessness and despair. It takes a minute or two for me to shake it off at least a little. I don’t know where it comes from or why it even started but when it does come, I feel like there’s really no point to anything, the world, life. It’s a very bleak and helpless state. I move pretty quickly into a better mindset while I try to remember that there is a lot the world has to offer and a lot of cool things to do in life. I remind myself that I’m already taking the right steps to be where I want to be. I refocus on all the things jesus has done and will continue to do for me but It’s not easy trying to please everyone around you and keep your head above water too.

At 20 everyone tells me I don’t need to have anything figured out and I should stop stressing about what the future holds but have you seen the world today? It’s eat or be eaten, people are going viral online and making more money than the avergae office working american will make in their whole lifetime. I’m haunted by the thought of ending up in a 9-5 and only looking forward to the weekend. Im terrifed of living paycheck to paycheck. I feel like im already at the age where I should have at least dipped my foot into what I want to do. Then I remember to give myself credit becuase I constantly forget that I already have. This blog is my foot in the water, I want to be involved in social media professionally. Sure I do have other ideas and things that interest me and one day I’ll create something with it but when it comes to the day to day, this is it. I have to remind myself that 20 is barely 1/4 of my life, I have so much room to fail and try new things, discover new interest and just be young. So this is where the phrase comes from, I stress myself out (drowning) with things I really don’t need to be worried out (in a cup of water). I won’t be young forever so I think I should take advantage while I can.

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